A Letter to Myself at the End of a Hard Month

Dear you,

You made it through.

I know that does not sound like much. I know the month behind you did not resolve the way you hoped it would, and that several of the things you were carrying are still with you, and that 'making it through' feels like a very low bar for thirty days of your life.

But I want to say it plainly: you made it through, and that is not nothing.

You got up on the days when getting up cost something. You kept your hand extended toward God even when the silence was long. You held onto the people you love and let some of them hold you back, which — if you are anything like me — was harder than it sounds.

You were not always graceful about it. Neither was I. There were days when the keeping-going looked more like dragging yourself than walking. There were prayers that were mostly just your name and His, with not much else in between. There was probably a moment — maybe several — when you considered putting everything down and not picking it back up.

And you didn't.

I am not asking you to perform gratitude for a month that was genuinely hard. I am just asking you to notice: you are still here. The faith is still there — thinner in places, maybe, but present. The love is still there. The thread between you and God, worn smooth by handling, is still held.

New month. New mercy. That is the agreement He made, and He has never broken it.

You are allowed to begin again.

With love, The part of you that was watching